I'm going out for margaritas with a friend. I promise to be on my best behavior.
This means I will NOT:
- Drink a pitcher by myself.
- Throw things. This includes chips, fried pickles, glasses of water or loose change.
- Step on cakes people set on the floor until time to celebrate a loved one's birthday.
- Jump on stage with a rockabilly band on Beale street.
- Try to paddle up the Mississippi river in a dead boat with a midget paddle.
- Be chased around by so-called friends pretending to be paparazzi.
- Be propositioned by a very lonely illegal alien with pretty good waiter skills.
Again, I swear on the ghost of Jose Cuervo to be on my utmost, no-holds barred, is it even possible best behavior.
Just like every time before.