Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Is it True That Slade Pooped on Glass Tables?

If You Search For My Website With: “Is it True That Slade Pooped on Glass Tables”…


Apparently and unfortunately, you will get my website. But I do not understand how. Sure, I’m glad it gets you to my site, but really, how embarrassing to search for me with such an unflattering question.

First off, my character Slade is a washed up drugged out punk rocker, prone to violent outbursts and the most offensive behavior. But he certainly has not pooped on a glass table. I’m not ruling out other types of tables, rugs, socks or small furry animals. But I assure you, he’s not defiled a glass table. At least, not yet.

Secondly, if anyone were to associate the word “poop” which one of my characters at least get the character correct. When I think of my writing (which I assure you if of the highest caliber) and poop, I think of Chigger “FreckleFart” Larson who was caught praying on the pooper.

Quite scandalous, I know. In Chigg’s defense, the bathroom stall was the only place she could find for such a private moment. The praying, I mean.

As a writer, I’d like to think that readers could find my website by searching for any of the following:

• “Greatest writer on the face of the earth.”

• “Winner of every Nobel Prize for Literature for the next eighty years.”

• Or simply, “She who’s name cannot be spoken.”

As a realist, I’m pretty certain the last selection would not direct people to my website. But as my literary career progresses, I’m fairly confident readers will be able to find my site using the first two selections.

But until then, I guess just search for me with, “Is it True That Slade Pooped on Glass Tables”…

You’ll get me every time.

3 comments:

louisebroadbentfiction said...

I've also seen some strange search terms that brought readers to my blog. The most disturbing was: '"let's play doctors" knickers or panties'. I doubt this person found what they were looking for. At least, I hope they didn't...

Idabel Allen said...

Play dctors, knickers or panties? Sounds like the internet is truly full of the wicked and warped:)

Laura W. said...

Lol, the specificity of that question is kind of hilarious. I have this mental image of someone pondering the question, "Is it true that Slade pooped on glass tables?" for hours on end, to the point where they were motivated to Google it.

Some of the best ones that have gotten my blog are "underwater zombies," "future beard hunger games," "how to solve my zombie problem," and "kissed a zombie."

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