Sunday, April 10, 2011

The Greatest Thing You've Ever Read In Your Entire Life: Yes, No, Maybe So?

Please read following and let me know if this is the greatest thing you've ever read in your entire life and makes you absolutely, drop dead have to read the book right this minute!

NOTE: If its not the greatest thing you've ever read, please be kind enough to tell me why and what needs to change.  I fear I suck at this.

Rooted jacket copy:

In the late 1970’s, West Tennessee is a sea of white cotton, a land of “Yes Ma’ams” and “No Sirs” populated by good God fearing people who are mostly unaware of the mohawked, nose pierced, in your face, raw anarchy gripping New York City by the throat. But all of that is about to change.


Washed up and drugged out, punk's poster-boy, Slade Mortimer, is on his last leg. On the run from his dead girlfriend’s revenge seeking father, Slade heads south desperately seeking an inheritance and a chance at a new life.

What Slade finds is the blood kin he never knew he needed or wanted, the powerful yet fractured McQuistons who hold the keys to Slade’s past and his future.

With secrets and roots both deep and dark, the McQuistons bind Slade to a terrible task, one he’s spent his entire life running from. But in those flat, delta fields Slade discovers he can no longer escape what he has become, just as the McQuistons can no longer hide the truth about the sudden disappearance of Slade’s young mother years before.

Only when the powerful roots that ground and sustain families take hold and the guilt and loss of the past is accounted for can Slade and the McQuistons begin to forgive themselves. Only then can they begin to heal.

*******

Again, you are required to leave a comment and let me know exactly how great or how much this copy sucks.  My future as a writer depends on your input.  Don't leave a sista' hanging.

Thanks,

Idabel

8 comments:

Idabel Allen said...

Okay, I just posted it and it already does not look so great. Ugh.

Liss Thomas said...

Sounds intriguing. Not a bad plot. The first paragraph sets up the theme but it is telling us the theme and not showing. Watch out for cliches' and you'll do fine. Doesn't suck at all.

Idabel Allen said...

Thanks Liss. Dead on feedback. I've revised and posted. Much appreciated.

Melissa Roske said...

This is the greatest thing I have ever read in my entire life. Idabel Allen, you rock with socks! Word.

Heidi said...

The revision to the first line from yesterday (yes I read it yesterday but have't yet commented) is excellent. In fact the whole thing now really pulls the reader in. Except the last two lines don't work for me. You've succeeded in having me feel for Slade in this blurb, it is his struggle and the McQuiston's support his conflict. So to end with two sentences about them, instead of ending with what the stakes are for Slade doesn't feel right. I hope that was articulate enough. I"m feeling a bit brain dead at the moment.

Oh, one other small thing. I would revise the third to last sentence so you don't have the same verb in both. It reads a bit clunky. Maybe something like: "But in those flat, delta fields Slade discovers there's nowhere to hide from his horrific past, or from what he has become." It would probably sound even better if you could rejigger and not say his name in both sentences in that paragraph, but you'll have to noodle around with it a bit more to make that work. (Sorry, a lot of words for a small comment.)

Idabel Allen said...

Heidi - thanks.

Actually, I was having a big problem with the last two lines as well. Actually actually, I had to really pare down this jacket copy to only cover Slade, when really there are 3 main characters. This is why the last 2 lines do not work. I'll fix.

And its good to know the opening works better. Great feedback as always. Keep it coming.

Chris said...

Works for me. Very intriguing. A few weird apostrophes and other minor stuff though. I'm sure you're planning to edit, but since you asked for opinions, those little things kinda stick out.

Idabel Allen said...

Thanks Chris. Yup, planning to do a final run on this in a day or so. Then I'll be working on a new synopsis. I'll be glad when these are complete and correct.

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